Ep 03: "Who Am I?" Guided Meditation
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Perfectionist in Recovery
“Who Am I?” Guided Meditation
[00:00:03] Hello and welcome to the Perfectionist in Recovery podcast. My name is Marcy Parks and I am a perfectionist in recovery.
[00:00:14] For today's episode, I wanted to share a guided meditation. And before we get into the practice, I just wanted to speak a little bit about why I wanted to share guided meditations as part of this podcast, my intention going forward with them, and what you can expect from the practice today.
[00:00:40] To begin, a meditation presents a remarkable amount of health benefits, all of which are just a quick Google search away if you're really curious. I'm not going to get into them here in this episode, but if you are interested in learning more, one book that I might recommend is Buddha's Brain. This is a great book if you're interested in learning more about the neuroscience behind meditation. Otherwise, some of the benefits that come from meditation are what I would describe as mental housekeeping.
[00:01:18] In the last episode, I spoke about the benefits of journaling and why it's important to have a journaling practice. Journaling is making a practice of emptying out the contents of your mind. As I shared in that episode, we all have this loop that's playing in the back of our minds throughout the day. It might look like dialogue, it could be memories, whatever, but the point is that there is constant chatter going on in our minds. Because it is always happening, we aren't necessarily aware of what's being said or played in the background of our lives if we're not paying attention to it. So, just like journaling is a way to take those contents out of your mind and put them on paper where you can see them and become more conscious of them, meditation is a way to watch and observe those patterns of thought and become more conscious of the state that you're living in.
[00:02:40] The other reasons that I wanted to introduce meditation practices as part of this podcast is because it's important to practice pausing as well. It's important to make space to slow down and to pause. It's probably no secret to you that we live in an incredibly fast paced culture, speaking specifically to America, and we are constantly focused on productivity and achieving. Our days are full of to do lists, and it's easy in the hustle of life to neglect yourself, but especially your creative self.
[00:03:33] It's easy to put your creativity to the side and say, "I don't have time for this today." I do this, too, especially if my house is a mess. There are dishes that need to be done, errands that need to be run, not to mention being a mom and having a full time job along with everything else. If anything, those reasons alone are why it's important to develop a practice of pausing and to build those pockets of space into your days for yourself. It is necessary to devote those moments wholly to yourself and especially to devote pockets of time to just doing nothing. What you might find, is that it's easier to find pockets of time to do other things like nurturing your creative practice once you find those moments to pause.
[00:03:33] The other reason that it's important to have that practice of pausing is because when we slow down enough to pause, that is when we have the the opportunity to notice. So when we practice pausing, we then can practice noticing and becoming aware. Meditation is very literally a practice of awareness. It's a practice of noticing and witnessing your own experience as a human being. And so when we practice a pause and we practice noticing, that is where we find our inspiration.
[00:05:24] Speaking from my own experience, I have regularly practice noticing, especially when I am out in nature. This is also where my greatest source of inspiration comes. I have a practice of noticing that I do when I'm out in the woods. In my experience, I will become so engrossed in the experience of being in nature with the sounds, with the scents, with the way my body feels, most specifically with the way the light shines through the leaves (that's something that every time could almost bring me to tears). Those are moments are part of my practice of noticing. And when I'm in the woods, that is where I draw the most inspiration. And it's because I am actively engaged with the world around me.
[00:06:13] Through meditation, I can just as easily become inspired by my own internal world. And I think that's why, again, meditation is important, because we become we can become engrossed in our own experience as a human, and when we become fascinated and curious by our experience as a human, we start to realize what magical beings we really are and just how fascinating we really are! That's when we can start to embrace our own majesty, if that makes sense. So my intention going forward is to have regular meditations on this podcast for you to use at your disposal for developing your own practice of pausing and noticing. And my intention is to release them about every third episode.
[00:07:13] So for today's practice and if you want to go ahead and skip on to the meditation, please do, it begins around the 9 minute mark. For today's practice, I'm going to be guiding you through a meditation of self inquiry. So just getting curious about yourself and asking yourself direct questions, but not with the intention of finding any answers. I just want to make that clear beforehand and I'll remind you during the practice, but the goal of the meditation today is not to come away with any answers. The goal is just to become aware of your responses and again become aware of the way you respond, how you respond, and to get a little more curious about who you really are.
[00:07:13] Let's go ahead and get started. So I'm going to ask you to find a comfortable seat and that might look differently for everyone depending on where you are. So. If it's more comfortable for you to sit in a chair, I'm gonna ask you to sit seated in a chair with your back away from the back, feet flat on the floor, and your hands resting in your lap. If it's comfortable for you to sit on the floor cross legged, please do that. You can prop yourself up on with pillows underneath your seat or even underneath your knees, if you have any discomfort there. If you just need something more restorative, please feel free to lie down.
[00:09:08] Go ahead and find a comfortable position. As we begin, I want you to still keep your eyes open.
[00:09:23] So, finding a comfortable seat with your eyes open.
[00:09:32] First, I just want you to bring your attention to your breath. At this time, I don't want you to manipulate your breath in any way, just notice your breath in its natural state. Notice the pace of your breath. Notice the depth. Notice how it feels in your body.
[00:10:18] And then from here, taking a fuller and deeper breath in through your nose, as you exhale, allow your eyes to close.
[00:10:41] Keep your presence and your attention on your breath and the pace of your breath, the rhythm of your breath. At this time, start to breathe with a little more intention. Starting to lengthen your inhales a little bit more. And slowing your exhale down. Not in a way that causes you to strain, but in a way that still feels comfortable. Just lengthening the time between each breath.
[00:11:45] In this moment, if you notice that your eyes are still looking somewhere outside of you, relax the area around your eyes. Relax the skin round your eyes and the muscles in your face.
[00:12:23] Continue to develop an awareness of your breath.
[00:12:32] Still taking full inhales and exhales in and out through your nose.
[00:12:52] Maybe starting to observe the path that your breath is taking as it enters and exits your body.
[00:13:03] Feel how your breath moves through your body. Notice the sensations of your breath as it moves through your body. Noticing perhaps a sense of coolness on the tip of your nose as you breathe in, the expansion of your chest and belly as you inhale. Then the sensation of your body hugging back in on itself as you exhale.
[00:14:07] With your awareness on these sensations, I want you to just count the next five breaths to yourself. Counting one on the inhale and one on the exhale.
[00:14:39] Two on the inhale and two on the exhale....
[00:15:48] With this awareness of the sensations of your body and the experience of your breath, I want you to ask yourself, who am I?
[00:16:24] Notice the responses that start to reveal themselves. Notice the answers that come up. I don't want you to label any of them, or dismiss any of them. I just want you to notice. What labels and identities are there? What identities exist in your psyche. If you notice that you start to get caught up in a story around any of the words that come up for you, return first to your breath, then return to the question, "Who am I?"
[00:19:24] Remember, there are no right or wrong answers and the purpose is not to find any answers. Try to refrain from seeking the right answer and again, just witness your response to the question, "Who am I?"......
[00:22:04] At this time, I want you to release the question. Bring your presence and attention back to your breath, noticing your breath. Notice the experience of your body in this moment. Observe any changes.
[00:22:37] If you would like to continue with the meditation. Remain comfortably in whatever position in which you are currently resting by keeping your attention and presence with your breath, observing the movement of breath through your body. Continue Observing the sensations of breath moving through your body. Then, when you are ready, you can slowly open your eyes and release the practice.
[00:23:23] Until next time.
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