Ep 19: Perfectionism and Burnout
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Perfectionist in Recovery
Perfectionism and Burnout
Perfectionism and Burnout
Hello and welcome back to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast! My name is Marcy Parks and I am a Perfectionist in Recovery.
On today’s episode I want to chat about the correlation between perfectionism and burnout and giving yourself permission to let some things go in order to recover from burnout, but first I want to say thank you so much for being here! I missed being here with you all last week and am grateful to be back with you for this episode! Like most of America, I was wrapped up in the fever pitch of the election week and was too busy hitting refresh on my phone to get sleep or do anything else really haha! Which also meant I did not take the time to prepare for the podcast! I am happy to be back to somewhat normal this week, though, and grateful, always, for your time and presence here to join for the conversation. If you are enjoying this podcast as much as I am, please feel free to send me your feedback and let me know! As I have said before, your feedback helps make this podcast more enjoyable for you to listen to, so share your feedback with me by either sending me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or go to my website at www.marcyparksart.com and submit your feedback through the contact form there! If you are already loving this podcast, and would like to continue to support its growth, like, subscribe, follow, and leave a review for the podcast on whatever streaming platform you are using! Apple Podcast reviews are the best way to support this podcast and the work I am doing here, and you can find links to leave reviews on the podcast page of my website.
Now, let’s get into it!
I wanted to discuss perfectionism and burnout on today’s episode because I myself have been feeling a little burned out in the last few weeks and I am sure I am not the only one! 2020 has been a doozy and with the drama of the election draining much of our attention and energy, I know I am not the only one feeling this way!
So before we begin, I want to talk a little bit about burnout specifically, how it manifests for me, and how you can potentially recognize it in yourself.
In my experience, one of the first symptoms of my burnout is an overall lack of inspiration. Typically, when I am feeling fresh and inspired, I wake up with a clear vision of what I want for my day, whether it is a list of to-do’s that I intend to get done, or a project I want to work on, or even food that I want to make, I wake up with a a vision for my day. If I don’t wake up with one, I sketch out my intentions for my day first thing, but either way I am feeling inspired and ready to get the day going. When I am struggling with burnout, however, I lack the vision that comes with inspiration and have a hard time seeing beyond whatever is right in front of me at that moment. There may be an element of mental fog present and a bit of disorganization where I am unable to prioritize tasks well.
Another symptom of burnout for me is an overall lack of motivation. Typically, when I have a list of things I need to get done, I move through them with clarity and determination. When I am experiencing burnout, however, there may be a list of things that I need to get done, but I find myself avoiding those things instead.
And what I find is the hardest struggle when it comes to navigating burnout is the pressure from perfectionism to just keep going, to keep doing, to keep all of the plates spinning, and to not let anything slip between the cracks. The voice of my perfectionism will feel my lack of inspiration and motivation and start reminding myself of deadlines and commitments. The voice of my perfectionism will pressure me to keep going in order to meet those deadlines, but then be dissatisfied with the work that I have done or what I am able to accomplish and become critical. In that way, it becomes this vicious cycle where my perfectionism feeds my burnout, and my burnout amplifies the harshness of my perfectionism, and so on and so on.
These are just a few of the symptoms that I feel when I am in the middle of a burnout period. Other things I might experience are irritability, frustration - especially about my creative work, I may even go through a spell of making bad art at this time. These symptoms are very similar to the symptoms I experience with depression as well, so if you are listening to this and thinking, “This sounds like depression,” you are not wrong! I am not a psychologist, but I would be interested to learn more about the relationship between depression and burnout and how one leads to the other, but I do think there is a difference between the two. I think an easy way to tell the difference between the two is if the feelings of lack of inspiration, lack of motivation, frustration, etc. persist after a period of rest, after a period of recovery. So for example, if you take time to recover and restore yourself and the feelings persist through that period and beyond, then I would say what you’re experiencing might be depression and to seek out support from a mental health professional or people you know and trust. But, again, I am not a mental health professional, and I know these experiences are so different for everyone.
That being said, it is important to develop a relationship with yourself in such a way that when these symptoms do start to pop up for you, you have a plan in place to help manage them in order to rest and recover, no matter what the voice of your perfectionism is telling you to do otherwise.
So what do we do when we find ourselves in the middle of a burnout period?
Here are a few things that help me to recover and move through spells of burnout.
Recognize when you are burned out. This is the hard one! It is hard to recognize it before it is happening. This goes back to my “learning your creative rhythm” episode where I talk about learning what your creative rhythm is and planning accordingly. In most cases, I know that after a long period of creative output, I need a break afterwards, and so I will plan my “painting calendar” accordingly to try and avoid periods of burnout, but sometimes it is hard to avoid. So that is why it is also important to recognize your symptoms of burnout and what that feels like for you. Journaling is a great way to do this! With a daily journaling practice, you can record your moods and how you are feeling on a given day so you can have a physical record to reflect on to help you recognize when you are entering into or might already be in a stage of burnout.
Remind yourself it is okay to take a break. WOOF. This one is so much harder than it sounds. Again, perfectionism can lay on all the pressure to keep pushing through because we are supposed to be machines, right? We aren’t supposed to break down! But alas, we are not machines, we are human beings meaning we are perfectly imperfect and full of error. Remind yourself of this in a loving way - you are a gorgeous, brilliant human being and gorgeous, brilliant human beings are gorgeous and brilliant because of the ways in which we mess things up and recover afterwards. This is precisely what my new collection of mini abstract paintings on paper called “Messy Moments” speaks to. Life is messy, we are messy, but that’s part of what makes our humanity so beautiful. Don’t resent yourself for not being 100% on your game all the time, acknowledge it as a fact and then step away for a moment. Take a break!
Begin your recovery! What fills you up? What feels like a great big exhale? What does rest look like for you? Do that. Need a vacation? (Or staycation since it is 2020) Take one! Are you restored by the outdoors? Go for a walk every day! Need to flake out on the plans you made last week? Be honest with your friends/family/whoever and stay home! Need to reassess your deadlines? Ask for or give yourself an extension! Self care is such a buzz word these days, but it is absolutely so necessary. The more we talk about it and the more we actually practice it, the better we all are for it. I dream of a day where self care is integrated into corporate culture and workers are encouraged to practice self care for their mental and emotional well being. I don’t know that we are there yet, but in the ways in which you can control, make space in your life for those self care practices that communicate to yourself that you love yourself and are caring for yourself.
Download my creative recovery guide! On my website I have a Free Creative Recovery Journaling guide to help you start your creative recovery. If you are feeling burned out right now, plan a weekend for yourself to dive into this guide. In it I include a journaling prompt, affirmations, and artist activities to help kickstart your creative recovery and fuel your inspiration.
BONUS: Start a journaling practice!!!
Yes, I said it, again. Start a journaling practice!
Journaling Prompt: If you don’t have a journaling practice but would like to get started with one, or if you already have a journaling practice and would like a prompt for this week to inspire you, I am leaving you with the following journaling prompt:
Make a list of 10 activities that bring you joy (then commit to doing one of them this week).
Otherwise, that is all I have for you today, friends! I hope this episode finds you well and on your way to creative recovery! Thank you again, so much, for being here! Until next time!
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