Call Me Crazy
Call Me Crazy
8’ x 4’ Original house paint, acrylic, oil pastel, and graphite on plywood panel
Call Me Crazy is my largest abstract painting to date. It is an 8 foot tall and 4 foot wide plywood panel painted with house paint, oil pastel, and graphite.
I created this painting for the first, annual Bristol in Bloom Art Festival, which is an art festival I put together to happen in my hometown in Bristol, Tennessee.
As I continue to grow and progress as an artist, I find that I am always trying to explore the boundary of what is “too much”, “too messy”, and/or “too crazy” in my own work. I am always trying to push my comfort zone within those definitions and challenging my own perceptions around what it means to go “too far” in hopes of finding a greater sense of freedom. Each year I try to find that edge of “too far” and each year I find more freedom in my movement and expression, but I still have yet to meet the edge.
I loved every bit of the experience of creating this painting. This painting absolutely poured out of me on a sunny afternoon in late September. The panel was too big to fit into my house, so I had to paint it outside on the side porch. Being able to paint outside opened up a lot more freedom for me because there wasn’t a fear or concern about keeping paint off of the hardwood floors of the living room. Painting on plywood panel also opened up more freedom because it was sturdy enough and secure enough that I didn’t fear it falling over, so I could really be rough in the paint application. So much energy went into painting this piece. I was jumping to reach the top edges, throwing paint at the panel, and blaring some of my favorite Florence and the Machine and Amythyst Kiah songs all at the same time. Painting on my porch meant that all of my neighbors could see the entire process unfolding.
There were moments where I thought, “They must think I am crazy,” but for the most part, I was so absorbed in the process of painting, I didn’t care. This painting, for me, was a moment where I felt so free to be myself and express myself fully. In fact, at the time, I thought “If this is what people call crazy, then I stand proudly by that.”
Afterwards, I reflected on other times in my life when I was called crazy and I started thinking about how often we mis-label people and things to be “crazy”. I started paying attention to how often I call an event or experience “crazy” (more than I’d like to admit) and have been actively trying to choose better descriptor words that more accurately describe an experience. In that process, I wrote this poem to accompany this painting.
“Call Me Crazy”
“Crazy,” he said,
“A train wreck.”
Crazy?
Call me crazy, but
This world is a little
Crazy-making
And I’d call her anything-
Angry
Lonely
Traumatized
Sad-
Before I’d call her crazy
In fact,
Crazy is an easy word
Much easier than words like
Complicit, or
Accountability, and
Introspection.
In fact,
It drives me a little crazy
To hear a person called crazy.
Why don’t we use words instead like
Compassion, and
Patience, and
Mental-Emotional Support?
In fact,
I’d dare anyone to call me crazy
Without having taken
A single breath
Feeling in this world
With a heart like mine.
Go ahead,
Call me crazy.
Collectors Club Members will get exclusive access to this original painting on Friday, November the 19th. The painting will then become publicly available on November 20th. To make sure you don’t miss out on collecting your ornament, join the Collectors Club here!